When you get divorced, telling the children is one of the most challenging parts. However, many people and their kids have gone through a divorce and dealt with the challenges, and you can, too. Keep reading to learn how to talk to your kids about divorce, and contact our divorce attorneys in DuPage County if you have legal questions.
Plan What You Will Tell Them
Psychology Today stresses the importance of putting your kids first when talking about divorce. This means carefully planning what you say and not allowing hurt or anger to come through. Experts recommend telling them on a Friday or Saturday evening. However, you should not tell them the news on a holiday or before they go to bed or school. They will need some time when they are not rushed to process and accept the news.
Tell The Kids Together
You should tell the kids simultaneously so they do not hear the news from the other sibling you told first. If your children are of different ages, share the basic news, then tell them more information separately that is age appropriate.
Do Not Blame
Remember, the focus is on the well-being of your children, so do not blame your spouse for what is happening. If you attack the other party, your children will feel stuck in the middle. Instead, try to focus on the conversation on ‘we,’ meaning you and your spouse, such as ‘we are not happy together anymore,’ or ‘we both want to stop arguing, and it is best if we get away from each other.’
How Much Divorce Information Is Too Much?
Another issue is how much you should tell your kids about what is happening. The kids’ ages and level of maturity are significant factors that determine the information you give them. Here are some helpful guidelines:
Small Children
Children younger than grade school usually do not fully understand the situation, its finality, or that each parent will still love the child if the home situation changes. Therefore, when you tell young children, you should use language that tells them you and your ex still love the children, and that will never change.
Grade-School Kids
Kids in grade school have a better understanding of divorce, but younger ones still might not understand it is not their fault. They also may think often about their parents getting back together, even when that is unlikely. So when you tell the kids you are splitting up, tell them how you feel about it clearly and calmly so they see an excellent way to process how they feel.
Teenagers
Teens may get upset about a divorce and feel resentful or frustrated. When you tell them, ensure they know you do not want them to hide their feelings about the situation. Also, communicate to them what is acceptable regarding how they express any negative feelings about the divorce.
Call Our Divorce Attorneys In DuPage County Today
If you are going through a divorce, it is difficult to have the best outcome without the assistance of an attorney. Speak to our divorce attorneys in DuPage County at Covert Marrero Covert LLP at (630) 717-2783 for legal assistance.
